Police Blotter Fax 01/23/09

" Self anyway. Police -- fax Friday at this time each Friday we it. Askew to a sim in all week long the funny stories or items from your local daily or weekly newspaper from the police logger of the police blotter. What are we call the police -- were -- a standalone story but just funny stuff involving cops. This time every Friday afternoon. We we read the funniest ones in our opinion and lead to. Best entries of the week received nice prizes what do they get this week CNB."

" The current get that really bot special edition of the Boston I'm Harold magazine yes your hot little hand lost celebrates president Obama. Slots for every one I admit now but it collector's item yet and with that the going to get some Ben and Jerry's gift certificates thank you Bob Ward from Ben and Jerry's have cost him park plaza."

" Then yes in parks where yes in parks wherein. Bob we always appreciate Bob comin' in and bringing. Today I appreciated Bob I said I'd -- thanks thanks for nothing Bob thanks for not bringing in a milk shake. Because I have to take off the weight before my hip operations. He was very pleased to accommodate. A I don't often thanked people for nothing and the spread is we have ruled ice creams shops but today I did. Okay oh there's an officer mark is also here this afternoon --"

" Sunday handicap -- he has in his hand CIA's giving it to you know he's not giving he can't CNB CNB. That would be Connelly get a law but it would be wrong. I'm not as well versed in -- stuff as you've made a study of it personally. Fine hours I see people. Who are not perfectly healthy to me walking into the market partly attic space he assures me the once I have my hip operation that I will be finally. Eligible for handicapped parking as you have a parker insists. Hi I'm I'm hopeful I'm hopeful he really even though you know I have suffered a bit of a setback in my decade long campaign trying to handicap -- when I I no longer have osteoporosis -- of the name you can park -- like non metered spots in Boston if you get want to know. Cindy the C I don't want to take advantage of anybody I will settle I won't settle for as I've told cubes. Repeatedly for an untraceable license plate. That's all I want that's all I ask for sickening -- many tickets as you one never have to pay them can share can't be found that -- have to worry about. Searching for handicapped parking space that I can just find it wouldn't."

" You are by the fire -- pretty thing I don't know any judge should W think you are these days though I know I think Emma Kennedy. I don't that's pretty special treatment I just want to be treated like a cavity that's all -- odd. It's your city if I don't give my handicap lacquered. The income taxes go about it. I your writer a little out like a good place where if I don't get that -- together is like I've learned this is my new -- from governor Blagojevich this afternoon in Chicago if I don't get my handicap lacquered. But again -- taxes going up. -- Okay see Eddie all right in the runners up they do not indeed."

" Spots Boston Herald magazine nor -- Ben and Jerry's. The first one is from Sweden. Left to squatters had kidnapped. Eight talking -- leftist squatters are there any other kind I didn't know and and I'm concerned in Sweden actually calling them up just -- which means you know who's to the right I'm wondering. They kidnapped -- talking loaf of bread from a children's TV show. To protest their eviction from an occupied buildings they kidnapped at talking loaf of bread that you know it's like a mascot kind of thing. It's a two metre tall likeness of these early orange brown Tim love -- missing from its post in front of City Hall building weeks ago. A letter from the group of squatters claims responsibility for the abduction."

" And they follow up there's the reality is we don't get our if we billionaire property back we're gonna make club sandwiches young French toast if you don't want the lived there for free publicity that's a whole Powell met Obama's dismay guy how many talking loaves of bread will disappear before we crack down on these leftist squad as mr. Sprague got."

" This is from Montgomery -- New York. Police say that a gentleman by the name of Walter Walter tasks are returned his lobster at a price chopper. And the story told us -- is bad Annie asked for a bag of part of crab legs instead. The lobster is worth about eleven dollars and a crowd likes -- seven but to keep the customer happy the store officials were back to comply. But then there's something about the lobster."

" It it was empty he would like it would and read it was eaten and he returned it you know."

" The shelves. Just a -- nothing but to shop."

" I didn't think -- matters like this assault --"

" You don't like you've known to this policy and -- for you -- you take a moment he just brought to jump back so arduous stuff -- lobster sign out -- so much our jurors is just that they move around generic kind of creeps people like me out winner scarring and again how water and I mean."

" I have a garage in the -- works out there usually -- them -- not -- almost -- and you put the if you're worried about you -- get over -- I had no no -- I put the -- on top of the of the cover the pot so that that way even if they're trying to push the -- live off."

" They can't do it you know senator muskie went showed me how to hypnotize a lobster -- because sleep and then you -- had first he said."

" And that way it never knows what hits at that final point I thought only have to do was make a speech that -- that would blue lobster would go into a coma would damage -- over."

" York Pennsylvania shortly before a setting a fire that destroyed the historic New York county farmhouse. Carol township woman got into a fight with her father over eating a brownie. Stephanie and right pesky. After her father sit here have a brownie picked up her father's -- and smashed him in the mouth split splitting his lip open. Should -- the kitchen and grabbed a knife they found her wandering around the told her home was for burning and she later told them she want to commit suicide by setting herself on fire. I guess she amassed."

" No White House since Daschle what you've done if we hadn't offered of the brown. My guess she just waiting for him to offer her anything and she was going to split the slipped -- and riches. What she did by the way if you couldn't have gasped. Alcohol -- was involved."

" From the buffalo news and east ferry street man was found travelling with -- ticket on metro Rleal. And faces various charges after transit police discovered forty forest on containers of deodorant stuff down his pants."

" What kind of -- odor and it does not say it does that make a big difference to emerge as one apparently they've been telling -- on status details from Dollar General."

" He had been cited several times previously for not running as proof of payment so right guard."

" Dial allspice and -- see any of the above."

" This is from. I know where is this from -- season. On Sunday about 3 AME 48 year old woman woke up to knocking on her door she answered. And recognized Matthew hill as a 24 year old man who lives in her stamp complex issue opened the door. He claimed he needed to talk because he just broke after his girlfriend. A woman said that hills gentleman the hills gentleman's pants gentleman parts. For hanging out of his pants so she told me go home here return knocking on the door fiction and go home Senator Kennedy. He can't trust that night. Knocking and a few other neighbors doors including a sixty year old woman's where he asked if she'd like to have a threesome there -- US constituent of mine. I'm he's been arrested on several counts of indecent exposure you remind me of mr. when I used to no name was -- GO eight Texas shoplift -- concerned for his people popping. Faces a."

" Our kids."

" After smoking pot -- site targets stealing merchandise and then attacking a security guard checked and the dot. Gregory cracked was observed letting it join up and wrapping music CDs -- target. -- preferred crack he was nabbed outside and -- up by -- Tokyo office -- He was concerned for the happiness car. When the officer checked the paintball. He managed senate. The suspect managed to it was -- the front of his body and attacked the guard striking him in the face and chest."

" While they search to carve out an officer our colleagues in an officer mark thinks that mall cops don't deserve to carry weapons. This man leave his life on the line for a puppy -- lasts trying to help the -- this is from New Hampshire news."

" a senior leader. Newport after an hour twenty minutes of deliberation. -- Sullivan county superior court jury convicted a man yesterday whipping his neighbor's cat to death with a cord. First -- cried at the defense table and embraced his wife and children after the jury foreperson announced the verdict. He faces -- was actual answer the cat's name. A capsule hanging on a second. Moon stoned moon stoned. Some hugged me bonanno put up what's more the owner's name is Vanilla cloves -- down."

" Vanilla clove moon signal hyphen clove moon none wouldn't be a moon battery thing -- and the owner of the -- they must put up. -- don't Bogart -- joy -- who live."

" Well gift for mr. Roby. Faces a maximum penalty of seven years in a state prison and a fine of up to 4000 for the felony animal cruelty convictions seven years he -- account electric cord and -- apple how a lot of the cat. It's kinda cat he took the cat off their porch to -- but I mean he went and got the cat and beat it to SCSI doesn't like the neighbors."

" So bad bad bad bad man okay let's have the weather's okay the winners the first one is farms."

" British Columbia white rock. Yes hey man probably wishes he'd give his eleven month old son a set of keys to play with instead of a phone. After the instant accidentally -- 911 and brought police to dad's marijuana grow operation. Mounties say and I want to -- one -- came in from white rock. And two -- and Adeline hung up the audience about her I just pure numbers -- as a residence and after numerous knocks on the door went unanswered and the home. The general was quite surprised at the mounting between -- nine year old male startled by the sudden flood of police insisted he had made the call. When it was suggested the child might have -- he objected to the sun was far too young but there's the baby boy iPhone in hand we some playing let it. -- officers began inspecting their residence and soon discovered a 500 plant marijuana the mounties always get their man and there we'd -- they do every single time. By the way police and this -- second when our police Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery. Vigilantes took the black and white -- to the police saying it was I don't send me an email he should tell the money out of the country for our behalf of the Nigerian royal family the vigilantes to the black and white -- to the police saying it was armed robber who he's black magic to transform himself -- to go to escape arrest. After trying to still Mazda three Tony train."

" We cannot get a New Hampshire should use that defense while the police said get this is the it is criminal that cats get fest."

" We cannot confirm the stories but -- is in our custody we cannot base our information on something mystical it is something has to be proved scientifically. That -- emperor being it's turned into a goat."

" Pfennig to fill us a better about you know. Walking the streets of Nigeria if I ever -- got there okay."

" Ability for Nigerian -- forever ago there moved once if you was to give me the money personally I'll be glad that they get off his hands on illegal wire of any thank OK that's it for police -- facts will be back with Dr. John beyond if you've got some questions about your pet."